Last year during this time I was trying to recover from loss and was emotionally stressed out, this time I am preparing to move on to the next and more important phase of my life. Every time we go through gloomy days of life we tend to think that days are never-ending and I shall continue forever. Our entire focus is so much on making things “right” we fail to see the already good parts of our lives.
2020 was hard and difficult for everyone and there’s no point in talking at length about it. but what I have realized is that prolonged anxiety and emotional stress take a take on mental health so badly that its often hard to recover from it. It's like a dent in the car. No matter how amazing the mechanic is, the memory will stay. My entire life was turned upside down in just 10days of the new year. Yes, I have said it before, and I say it because I was unprepared and I didn’t see it coming. More so I didn’t deserve it. And no, I am not being a narcissist who thinks highly of myself but I strongly believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and no one got the right to hurt our soul and kill a part of us. But the world is both a cruel and a happy place where things don’t happen always according to our will. Yet, we are expected to adjust and accept the new reality and redefine our lives. Everything went in a blur and let me tell you how easy is it to blame own self and fate and curse out life… just like that!!
In a world where mental health is taboo and trivialized by saying “there are people living in worse conditions, your just a first-world problem” or “you don’t listen to your parents, you asked for this” it's difficult to navigate and seek help. I tell you something, your problems and pains are valid and your sufferings are too. Don’t let anyone tell you you are acting it up. In your own world, you are the main character and you are in pain accept it and work on it. It starts from accepting it.
During the course of coming out of pain, I have tried different methods, from meditations to gratitude journaling to finally taking help from a therapist. Everything helped me little by little and I didn’t let the hope die within me. I knew even during my darkest hours that one day I will sit and look back to all of these troubled days and move on with my life.
I have always talked in favor of journaling or maintaining a creative diary, not just writing down 10 good things that happened but everything. For me, it's an outlet, to be honest, and free me without any fear of judgment. There were times I cried while writing, or days when I was so numb from inside, I couldn’t write down a single word. Journaling is my way of seeing myself in the mirror and accepting my beauty as well as my flaws.
In the world of toxic positivity and hustle culture, self-care is often commercialized in shopping and traveling. Instead, it's more about learning to love yourself just the way we want someone to validate our feelings.
Should your journal? I can’t dictate to you that, but I can tell you from my experience that’s liberating and a way to slow down the clock for a while and spend some time in silence with just myself. In my upcoming posts, I would share how to do journaling for beginners and resources available in India to start online journaling.
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